Relationships.......that's what life is about....mostly..I guess. Come to think of it, our relationship with our parents is already established when we are still in mother's womb. Have you seen an expectant mother? Did you notice how radiant she is, eagerly anticipating her baby's arrival? During the time she nurtures her baby in her womb, she would have spoken to him/her countless times. Even dad-in-waiting.... he would have joined her, talking to their baby as he strokes his unborn child through his wife's swollen belly.
We strike up relationships during childhood, school days, college days, at workplaces and even wherever we happen to be..... shipboard romances, holiday trips...etc . Some of these relationships thrive and last a lifetime, others fizzle out along the way. It takes time to build a relationship.
There are friends, and friends......those who will stand by you through thick and thin, and those fair weather friends that disappear once you are in need. How true the saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed".
Relationships go through ups and downs, be they sibling relationships, family relationships, boy-girl relationships, adult relationships.
During adolescence boy-girl relationships can be agonising or up in seventh heaven or plain rocky like a boat in the swells of the sea. Whatever, these experiences stand us in good stead as we mature into adults and enter into relationships with the opposite sex, one of which will ultimately end in matrimony.
Dating is a fantastic experience. Have you dated and found yourself in trepidation, waiting for your date, wondering if the plans you've meticulously made for the evening will come to fruition? I remember in my younger days, while I was in post-secondary school, it was a condition ( terms & conditions laid down by dad!!) in my family, that if any of us ( my sisters and I) had a date, ( usually going to the movies, in those days ),we had to have a chaperone in the form of a little sister. Some of my friends were good; they adhered to this without any fuss. However there was one guy ( this was in my university days... my dad was ultra conservative!!! ) who objected to my little sister going along and he kicked up a fuss with the result that I refused to go out with him. It was just a movie...!!!! And my sister would sit with me, so what was the big deal?
Anyway that spelt the end of that friendship, even though he tried to apologise with chocolates and flowers through third parties.....heh,heh! Hey, a girl feels insulted, you know.
We strike up relationships during childhood, school days, college days, at workplaces and even wherever we happen to be..... shipboard romances, holiday trips...etc . Some of these relationships thrive and last a lifetime, others fizzle out along the way. It takes time to build a relationship.
There are friends, and friends......those who will stand by you through thick and thin, and those fair weather friends that disappear once you are in need. How true the saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed".
Relationships go through ups and downs, be they sibling relationships, family relationships, boy-girl relationships, adult relationships.
During adolescence boy-girl relationships can be agonising or up in seventh heaven or plain rocky like a boat in the swells of the sea. Whatever, these experiences stand us in good stead as we mature into adults and enter into relationships with the opposite sex, one of which will ultimately end in matrimony.
Dating is a fantastic experience. Have you dated and found yourself in trepidation, waiting for your date, wondering if the plans you've meticulously made for the evening will come to fruition? I remember in my younger days, while I was in post-secondary school, it was a condition ( terms & conditions laid down by dad!!) in my family, that if any of us ( my sisters and I) had a date, ( usually going to the movies, in those days ),we had to have a chaperone in the form of a little sister. Some of my friends were good; they adhered to this without any fuss. However there was one guy ( this was in my university days... my dad was ultra conservative!!! ) who objected to my little sister going along and he kicked up a fuss with the result that I refused to go out with him. It was just a movie...!!!! And my sister would sit with me, so what was the big deal?
Anyway that spelt the end of that friendship, even though he tried to apologise with chocolates and flowers through third parties.....heh,heh! Hey, a girl feels insulted, you know.
Speaking of flowers and chocolates, I remember while I was at college in the UK, my local date ( read "Ang Moh" or Mat Salleh ) surprised me by giving me a posy of flowers and a box of chocolates when he came to fetch me for an evening at the theatre. I was impressed. My Malaysian dates never gave me flowers nor chocolates when we went to the movies. However we did have supper after the movie and usually "tah pau" ( bought a packet of noodles ) back for my mum and siblings.
Relationships that end in matrimony are the beginning of another phase of one's life journey. Having tied the knot most couples expect their marriage to last a lifetime, until death unravels the relationship. Sometimes it is not always "happily ever after". In the distant past, whether a marriage was solid and successful or otherwise, divorce was not an option. There was stigma attached to one who has been divorced, especially the female spouse. Society was chauvinistic then. However these days, divorce is very common.
Should a relationship not work out, both parties simply opt out, sometimes with disastrous consequences if there are young children involved. I wonder if either partner ever thought of the impact divorce has on their children. Granted one party has custody and the other, visitation rights but what of the child's psyche? He has known from young, the stability of a home with two parents, the security of knowing that mum and dad are always there and all of a sudden, this is no more. The fear, the insecurity, the anxiety that assails him and the fact that he has no words to verbalise his feelings and fears damage him and negatively impacts on his development and growth. All too often we have encountered youngsters from broken homes, whose potential has been inhibited. These youngsters have been shortchanged by their parents who could not sustain a loving relationship nor a working one.
Relationships have to be nurtured. Even those that appear solid can be the worse for wear and tear. I just read a woman's magazine that offered suggestions on how to put the "oomph" back into jaded relationships. Top of the list is "our time", just for the two people involved. It suggests a getaway to a place that will bring back the romance of earlier days, such as an idyllic beach resort & spa where one can relax and romp as in a second honeymoon!
Another suggestion was to surprise your spouse with little acts of thoughtfulness to show that the flame is still alive. Better still, saucy romps in the bedroom after the kids are in bed, of course. The rest is left to one's imagination. Excitement and anticipation will be key under the circumstances. However, there is always the niggling "what if..". What if my spouse doesn't react the way I anticipate? What if...... and so it goes. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say. There's only one way to find out. Do it!!! And bring back the magic and the stars.
No comments:
Post a Comment