A Weakness but also a Weapon

Have you ever found yourself in a situation which you wish you weren’t in?

I remember the occasion when I attended the funeral of a friend’s spouse. I didn’t want to go but felt obligated to do so as she is a friend and we used to teach together in the same school for many years.

My reluctance wasn’t because of the lack of sympathy but more because of the fact that I cannot see people cry without shedding tears myself. Somehow the sight of tears in another’s eyes is enough to put my tear glands into overdrive.

Before reaching the church where the funeral service was held, I bit my lips and resolved not to disgrace myself by crying. However, when I saw my friend and her children shedding tears of grief, my own came gushing out no matter how hard I bit my lip to stop the tears from spilling over.

It was so very embarrassing especially when her spouse was just a nodding acquaintance at the golf club. I couldn’t help but notice the looks of surprise among the attendees when they saw the copious tears running down my cheeks. I was really annoyed with myself and from that day I decided not to attend any more funerals.

I’m such a stupid cry baby. I cry when I read books, I cry when I go to the movies. My spouse used to laugh at me for paying money to go and cry in the cinema. Even watching tv can be a crying experience. To be so emotional over a fictitious scene on the screen is silly and a weakness. But not all women cry when they watch movies. That’s a bonus because their eyes aren’t swollen or red when the lights come back on.

However there was one exception. I recall how a teacher’s tears did not move me at all when she came to my office to request for a transfer to another state where her betrothed was teaching in a small town. I turned her down because I could not afford to lose a Biology teacher teaching the examination class. Instead I suggested that her betrothed get a transfer so that he could avail himself of the facilities available in a bigger town to further his studies and get a university degree on par with hers. Thankfully she took the advice and my school retained a good teacher.

Perhaps on that occasion when one was sitting on the other side of the desk, and the students’ welfare was on the line, the tears were kept in check. The teacher had thought that tears could be used to achieve her objective but fortunately I was able to harden my heart.

Children are adept at using tears to get what they want. They cry, shriek and throw tantrums to embarrass their mothers into giving in.

So are some women whose tears will weaken a man’s resolve. “Please, please don’t cry. I can’t stand it when you cry.” Sound familiar?

However, a word of advice to my fellow sisters, don’t use that tactic too often. It will lose its potency. Ever heard this? “Hum la, pie pie hum. Hum toh pau, choi lei toh gnong. Sei hum pau.” ( Cry la, always crying, cry all you want, to take any notice of you is stupid. Uselss cry baby)

Use it sparingly and its effect can surprise you.