Qing Ming, Honoring our Ancestors

Qingming, Cheng Beng or Sweeping Tombs Day falls on April 5 this year
but people can observe this ritual within ten days before or after this
date.

It is an annual festival celebrated by the Chinese regardless of which country they are living in.


I remember when I was young, accompanying my parents and siblings to pay our respects to my late paternal grandparents on a weekend. Their tomb is located on a hillside in Klang, in Peninsular Malaysia. This site is deemed auspicious because it is on a hill, so with its good feng shui, our families will be blessed.

We usually set off very early in the morning so as to avoid the heat and the later crowds. During Qing Ming, the cemetery is crowded with people all homing in on their ancestors’ graves to clean up and to pay their respects. Besides it’s a long climb and we have to locate the graves among the hundreds of others that are now there.

The first thing my father did was to clear the weeds together with his younger brother. Then they would repaint the Chinese characters on the tombstone using the red paint they had brought along. Meanwhile my mom and aunt would lay out the food that had been prepared as offerings to our late grandparents.

There was whole steamed chicken, whole slices of roast pork with its crispy skin, fruit, special steamed pink cakes and other food favoured by them. There were bowls of rice, cups of wine, spoons and chopsticks all in threes. Then after the grave was spruced up, we, the children, were instructed to lay coloured pieces of paper on the grave anchored by stones so that they would not fly away.

Then my father, being the eldest would lead in offering prayers. Candles and joss sticks were lighted and prayers were uttered, asking for blessings and abundance and good health for our families. Then my mum and aunt would pray and then it was our turn.

Some time was given for our ancestors to partake of the feast laid out before their headstones. During this time, we children busied ourselves playing around the semi-circular tombstone. It was quite big as my grandfather was a prominent person. Meanwhile the adults had their own conversation. This was a time of bonding.

Then my father prayed again and tossed two coins into the air. If they came down, one head and the other tail, this meant that our ancestors had finished their meal and were satisfied. So we could burn the hell money, and other offerings that had been brought along.
In those days, we usually burnt hell money but these days, we burn other material things as well, e.g. paper clothing, shoes, handphones, etc. It is our belief that when the ashes of the burnt joss papers and hell money fly high in the sky, our ancestors are well pleased.

After that, we ate the food. This indicates our respect for our departed ones and the balance of the food was taken home as there was a lot.

These days only my three brothers and one sister go to clean our ancestors’ graves as I no longer live in Peninsular Malaysia. They have my paternal and maternal grandparents’ graves to clean and make offerings. Then it’s back to my youngest brother’s house to offer prayers to my late father as his ancestral tablet is kept there. He doesn’t have a grave as he was cremated and his ashes scattered in the sea as per his wish. Since my late mum was a Christian, we visit her grave on All Souls’ Day.

This practice of cleaning our ancestors’ tombs, making offerings and saying prayers is a good way to honor and remember them for without them we would not be here. It also continues the tradition of filial piety and respect towards our elders. As a child, I knew that my siblings and I had to pray at our grandparents’ graves and it was a yearly event. In this way the tradition was inculcated in us and to this day when we are already middle-aged, we still continue the tradition.

However, I believe that this practice will die out in our family as the young ones, meaning my children, and my siblings’ children, do not go to clean the graves and offer prayers. Some of them are Christians who will not participate in this although there are hundreds of Christians who still do. The others have migrated to other countries. So I do not know what will happen in the future years to come when our generation passes on.

It is quite a sad thing to reflect upon. Maybe it is our fault for not insisting that our children go with us when they were still young. That is probably why they do not know how to value this tradition.